So it's counting down to the wire, and I may have two potential job prospects. Problem is, I don't want one of them really and the other, well, I'd love to work there because a) I get paid more and b) I get to work in Berkeley for the summer and I sure would love to get away from here during the week for at least a couple of months. The one I don't want is the one that may actually work out, I'm closer to knowing whether or not I'll get it and if I don't, then I guess I can focus my energies on the other one, which isn't a sure thing. I probably won't start either of these jobs until the beginning of January, because it makes no sense to start working this late into the month. Which is fine with me, but I'm bored to death of this receptionist job. The tedium makes me light-headed sometimes, but at least I get frequent breaks. But they're not really long enough from the boredom of answering phones. Blah.
I am so frustrated with people these days. There's so much demand for me to "heal" that I feel like I don't even want to anymore. Yes, it's getting that way for me now. I may have to give up on it till I feel I have time to do it, because the expectations are too high or whatever for me right now. I'm not feeling very open about it either, just sort of like...whatever...can get me through the day pretty much. I don't feel like I'm really suffering or anything, I just sort of blindly go through evverything like it's okay but it's not really. Or maybe it is good enough for me for now because it just is what it is. While everyone is stressing about the economy, I'm just sitting here wondering if things will work out, but not really worrying about it either. I guess I'm not supposed to worry really. I don't really have time to nor do I care to. That's good enough for me.
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