I was just reading last week's Op-Ed by Nicholas Kristof a minute ago. It was about how women in Asia and the Middle East often get burned in the face by having acid thrown in their faces by men (mostly their ex-husbands). It was simply awful and I wanted to cry for all these women...it also made me think, I am so lucky to live in a society where this atrocity to women's rights is not even thought of by most men here. Sure there's rape, but the subjugation of women in other countries is such a common practice even in the 21st century. I sometimes even forget that this still happens everywhere else in the world thanks to my little bubble called the U.S. One of the stories of these women was that she had divorced her husband, which suited him just fine because he was interested in another woman. So the ex comes by to say his goodbyes to his family and then pours acid in her face in front of her entire family. Neighbors run in to help her, and the ex escapes. What in the world in this man thinking? His wife was no longer in love with him, so then she should suffer the rest of her life, while he moves on to marry and torture some other poor woman!? What is wrong with him? I'm not just thinking this is a cultural thing either, I believe that some men from ANY race or culture might find that they need to avenge the "insult" that a woman wants to live a life without him. She is the one who is deemed a "whore" anyway, the man can go out and marry as many women as he pleases. So the acid in the face is simply the icing on the cake, like the final "spit" in the face of the "whore". This all makes me so mad I almost wish he was thrown in a pit of fire once found. But no, he probably escaped to some out of the way place and took his prospective "love" with him. As John Lennon said "Women are the n*ggers of the world." Sometimes I think the only reason why men subjugate and dominate women through violence because they think we're out to dominate them emotionally, mentally...making up excuses that we manipulate and use them to our advantage. Personally, I think it goes both ways. I've had conversations with men who think that if they manipulate before I do then they have one up over me, and that is how they present themselves in order to protect themeslves from the potential rejection that they might face at the hands of someone that they might like or actually be in love with. Then it is just a game of who is more aloof and who cares the least. On the flip side, there are men who show everything and scare off a potential friend even if it is a woman...but they don't know how to be friends with women in the first place because well, they've never had a female friend in their entire lives. I think perhaps that is root of this constant subjugation and domination of women, that men see women as the enemy...even if the woman is of the same cultural and racial background. The enemy in love, the enemy in lust...I wonder, do men think women are so simple-minded to stay in a relationship that has exhausted its course? Or is it men that become creatures of habit and must stay in a relationship if it is comfortable and presents no formidable risk to their own existence? Extreme reactions to rejection aside (yes I believe throwing acid in someone's face as a pretty f*ckin' extreme reaction), I think we're not really taught or shown how to deal with the loss of someone else's love or care. Suddenly faced with the propsect of rejection, most people either go into hiding or simply self-medicate, justifying their misery with numerous romantic trysts or drowning their sorrows in a delicious brew. Once this happens, it takes all our own willpower and a willingness to actually FEEL those feelings and not judge ourselves as pathetic or lonely or hurting. I believe that our society does not accept us as beings that feel pain and can be sad or upset by loss of love and family. We're often told to move on with our lives and work, work, work. Perhaps this is why some people become so obsessed, so completely consumed by their ability to control everyone else and eveything (the stapler, the copy machine,the computer), that they forget themselves completely in their routine. Maybe that's why I hate desk jobs, they can be so mentally draining, and not in a good way.
Back to the topic at hand, I was so furiously sad at that article in the NYT, I just had to comment on it. While in the U.S. media we're all holding our breathe as Hilary Clinton becomes the first female Secretary of State (ironic isn't it...? I actually thought that if you're the secretary of state you would HAVE to be female, because aren't most secretaries female anyway?), on the other side of the world atrocities such as these are happening every day, and men feel like they're justified in their actions. Made me want to stab them all, or maybe even throw acid in their faces. Sorry. I'm a Hammurabi's Code kinda girl!
